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- Been Awhile. -
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10.31.2006
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Okay...my life currently:
Ben came on Saturday. Ben would be the boy that I am crazy about. He currently lives in No. Dakota. Anyway, his grandma got married yesterday (she's 85) so he came for the wedding. He has 7 siblings and a huge extended family that he rarely sees so I didn't expect to see him much.
I got to hang out with him Saturday night, he came to church with me Sunday and he came to say goodbye to me last night. I loved seeing him, loved spending time with him, love how respectful he is to me, I miss him. Just before he left he gave me a hug and told me he's going to start looking for a job in Utah. Someone pray for me? I'm serious. This is the most jumbled paragraph ever, I can't get my thoughts straight.
Halloween. I'm going as an angel. I bought the coolest white angel wings and I'm wearing an awesome black shirt and a white skirt and it's a cute freaking costume. I'm going to a party with a friend and I'm excited to hang out with people.. I work tomorrow at 8, so I wont be out late, but that's ok. I'm excited to dress up and meet people. This paragraph sucks too. My english teachers would be pissed.
Moving. I'm currently looking for an apartment. I want to live alone, I would prefer to live in the city and I want something that's going to cost me no more than 500 a month including all utilities. My mother does not understand that I want to move out. I think she just doesn't want me to leave yet. Who knows? I might not. I hope I can find a place though, I want to be on my own for awhile.
My cousin, who I have been good friends with my entire life and who is three months younger than me came over with her boyfriend last night. She's engaged. I now have only 2 single female friends. Don't get me wrong, I'm not looking to get married any time soon, but I can't help but be jealous that all my friends are managing to marry the boys of their dreams. The one I want to marry can't seem to decide what he wants in life yet. Sigh. Again, start praying?
I could bore you with a lot more but my writing is awful today. So, that's it.
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- I'm at a loss. -
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10.20.2006
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I hate being lied to.
I hate when someone says they like my shoes and they don't mean it. I hate when someone says they will call me and they don't. I have come to hate the words "I love you" because I have heard them through lies too many times. I really hate being lied to.
I have a friend, who I adore. She's so much fun, she listens to me, she gets my sarcastic, dry humor. She's lying to me. She doesn't know that I know she's lying to me, but she is. She eats, but doesn't ever keep a thing that goes in. I can't stand that she's doing this to herself, but I know from experience that bringing it up to her will only push her away. I've seen it too many times.
I have a friend who I have known for six years now. I can trust her, I can tell her anything. She's random, she's funny and she always knows just what to say to make me feel better. She and her family are all very important people to me. She's lying to me. She knows perfectly well that I know she's lying to me. She knows it's tearing me apart and keeping me from sleeping at night. Drinking has become her number one and she'll give up anyone, hurt anyone to get to it.
These two girls mean a lot to me. I'm at a loss.
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- Birthday! -
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10.16.2006
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Yesterday was Samantha's first birthday!
Here she is looking all cute in her crazy birthday party dress. She was so sweet all night. She traded off sitting on my lap or her mom's lap during dinner eating our rolls and anything else she could get her chubby hands on. After dinner she got her very own cake...but she wouldn't touch it. For some reason she was scared to put her hands on it. She loved opening her presents though. Every time the wrapping paper would come off something she'd say "wow!" It was a good night. And I cried all the way home.
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- Second Attempt. -
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10.11.2006
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This is my second attempt at knitting. It's half way finished. If you think this is bad you should have seen the first one...
I'm trying!
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