- My Life and Everything In It - 4.24.2007 This is going to be one helluva random post... I'm almost done with this semester of school. I think I did pretty well and seeing as I only had one class it would be kind of sad if I didn't. I have a new job...again. I work at Fifth Avenue Tuxedos. Some days I love it, some days I want to rip the heads off of high school prom boys. I have worked there for four weeks now and my boss already gave me a raise. She loves me, so that's good. I am registered to attend Utah State this fall. I am excited, nervous and unsure about this. I'm not sure how I am going to be paying for this. I filled out FAFSA and didn't get a damn thing. If a widowed mother and her broker than broke daughter can't get some funding for college...who can? I don't get it. I'm excited because my sister, cousin and I found a cute apartment across the street from campus. 3 bedroom, 2 bathroom, walk in closets, pool and hot tub. Neat. I'm worried about being back at school full time and finding a job that will let me work the rest of the time. Samantha is now eighteen months old. She is ADORABLE you guys. SOOO cute. I love to see her! I'm still single. what the crap? This is the longest amount of time I have been single since I was 12 years old. I'm not kidding. Oh well...someday. For now life is uncomplicated. I think that's it? For now?

posted by all alli. @ 12:09:00 AM [[ 5 comments ]]

- Nothing new... - 2.15.2007 Wow, it's been a long time. I'm afraid I really don't have much to say...I hope everyone is doing well! Oh, and for those of you who are local...heard of any job openings?

posted by all alli. @ 6:43:00 AM [[ 6 comments ]]

- - 1.29.2007 Favorite kind of cereal: I'm not a big fan but I go for a bowl of peanut butter crunch every now and then. What animal or insect disgusts you the most? spiders and things with feathers What do you need more of right now? money What is the hardest thing for you to do? find and keep a stable job i guess. oh, and be positive Deodorant brand: whatever my mom buys How long does it take you to get ready in the morning? one hour What is your most prized object? some things of my dads, my car What are you thankful you're not doing now? well my scanner isn't working...so I'm glad I'm not scanning If you talked in your sleep, what would you say? couldn't say... What is your favorite drink? Dr pepper, water, milk. in that order Favorite way to eat potatoes? Mashed with tons of turkey gravy If you could be a character in any novel, who would you be? Ummmm Favorite ice cream toppings: I don't really like ice cream, if i do eat it it's usually plain vanilla Where do you want to spend the rest of your life? ?? What do you bring most to a friendship? honesty On a scale of 1-10, how hip are you? hip?! hip, huh? totally a 10 What kind of music makes you want to get up and sing? punk/ska/emo/rock What are you an expert in? sleeping over 10 hours What have you tried and simply were not good at? singing, knitting Favorite movie line? "Here's your boooks" What is your "theme song"? Don't know What is your most annoying habit? I pop my shoulder blades. Honest. If fat, calories, etc. weren't an issue, what food would you feast on? Doritos and beef jerky How much can you bench press? NO idea What fictional character would you like to meet? Fictional? I don't know... What is the ultimate vacation? I want to go to Europe What is the best thing about your job? NOTHING (I just quit) What is the worst thing about your job? The repetition Whose ideas totally conflict with yours? Brandon, kid I used to hang out with What cosmetic surgery would you like? Lipo What is the last movie that made your eyes tear up? The Holiday, HAHA What super-power would you like? Fly What would you change about your high school years? Nothing, I grew What would you change about your appearance? My stomach, my hair Would you rather be smart, rich, or beautiful? smart enough to get rich If you named your home, what would you name it? I don't have one What room do you want to add to your home? Bigger bedrooms, walk in closets What advice would you give to the President? I wouldn't What character attribute do you admire most? honesty Where do you usually buy your clothes? Kohls, Zumies What song describes your present relationship? None What is the nicest thing you have ever bought somebody? Prob Ben's ipod. Ha. Or my moms GPS How would you spend $1000? School What do you want to change about your life? the stress Who is your best friend? My Mom, Brit, Dave J, Amber What would you like to accomplish this year? Get back to school full time What book has had the greatest impact on your life? What do you do everyday? eat to much What food do you refuse to eat? carrots What one word would you use to describe your current relationship? non existent What one word describes your life? unsure NOW IT'S YOUR TURN!!!

posted by all alli. @ 4:45:00 PM [[ 2 comments ]]

- - 1.26.2007 Quick update, I'm at work and I'm not actually allowed to be online. ..I hate my new job. I sit and scan paper. Eight hours a day. ..I am turning in college aplications...they say "full time student" on them. (!!!!) ..I went to Vegas and Arizona last weekend. It was so nice to be out of Utah. I got on the Big Shot on top of the stratoshpere and wimped out. I have never wimped out of a ride. I went with a couple. Don't go on a road trip with a couple unless you have someone to keep you company also. ..My little sister will be home this weekend! ..I'm still gaining, and gaining and gaining. ..Ben officially lives in California now. ..Did I mention I hate my new job? ..I saw Sam on Tuesday. She is SO cute. She walks like a PRO and she even talks a lot more and she is so SWEET. I freakin love that kid. ..I need a new job

posted by all alli. @ 10:18:00 PM [[ 2 comments ]]

- More bad news - 1.18.2007 Ben just texted me (guess he didn't have the guts to call) to tell me he just took a permanant position...in California. Thank you, Ben. For wasting the last year of my life.

posted by all alli. @ 6:22:00 PM [[ 4 comments ]]

- I'm not sure when - 1.15.2007 Me at twenty years old. Right now I am a daughter, a birthmother, a sister, a friend. I am an employee by day and a student by night. My current goals include doing well in school and finding a good job (again). My dreams involve leaving Utah, finding someone to fall in love with and becoming a mother. Things of importance to me include my family, my friends and getting my education. Me at eighteen. I was a daughter of a newly widowed mother, a student, a friend and a roommate. I attended school full time and worked part time nights and weekends. I had very few goals, if any. Things of importance to me were my friends, and forgetting home and the pain that I, at the time, associated with home. Chan, me and adorable baby Mikayla. I believe I was seventeen when this picture was taken but I may have been sixteen. At the time I was a bishops daughter, a caretaker to a sick father, a shoulder for a grieving mother, a teenager with severe depression that I didn't yet know how to control. My main goal was getting away. Things of importance to me were people who supported me and my family, my long time boyfriend and my drivers license. Oh, and that studded belt. I went through five of those belts in high school. Fifteen years old. Happy, "popular", outgoing, friendly. I cared about how I did in school, cared about how I looked, cared about getting out and being with my friends. My family was happy and I was well cared for. If I could go back to any one year of my life I would go back to year fifteen. (Note the belt) I was going back and reading some of my older blogs and journals and it amazes me how much I have changed. How I have gone back and fourth from happiness to unhappiness. I'm still trying to figure out what I want for myself and how to go about getting it. Hopefully I continue to change, and hopefully it's for the better. So...anyone heard about any open receptionist jobs yet? I hate being unemployed.

posted by all alli. @ 8:31:00 PM [[ 4 comments ]]

- Is it really only Friday? - 1.12.2007 Monday I lost my job. I didn't do anything wrong, they just don't need me. I have been sending out resumes like crazy. I hope to be able to get something in reception again. Not really sure how I'm going to make my car payment/pay my six months of car insurance. Hmmm. Two things on my mind almost constantly: 1. Getting out of Utah. I wish I could get a receptionist job somewhere else and just live outside of Utah for awhile. For six months? A year? I just want out of here! 2. My weight. Someone help me get my motivation back. I can't find it ANYWHERE. Anyone know of someone who needs a receptionist?

posted by all alli. @ 7:56:00 PM [[ 1 comments ]]

- Bold - 1.02.2007 In bold if I've done it. (I'm pretty dull. I lied about ONE. I'm not ready to admit to it.) 01. Bought everyone in the bar a drink o2. Swum with wild dolphins 03. Climbed a mountain 04. Ridden in a Ferrari 05. Been inside the Great Pyramid 06. Held a tarantula 07. Taken a candlelit bath with someone 08. Said "I love you" and meant it 09. Hugged a tree 10. Bungee jumped 11. Visited Paris 12. Watched a lightning storm at sea 13. Stayed up all night long and seen the sun rise 14. Seen the Northern Lights 15. Gone to an Olympics game 16. Walked the stairs to the top of the leaning Tower of Pisa 17. Grown and eaten your own vegetables 18. Touched an iceberg 19. Slept under the stars 20. Changed a baby's diaper 21. Taken a trip in a hot air balloon 22. Watched a meteor shower 23. Gotten drunk on Dom Perignon 24. Given more than you can afford to charity 25. Looked up at the night sky through a telescope 26. Had an uncontrollable giggling fit at the worst possible moment 27. Had a food fight 28. Bet on a winning horse 29. Asked out a stranger 30. Had a snowball fight 31. Screamed as loudly as you possibly can (about twice a week) 32. Held a lamb 33. Seen a total eclipse 34. Ridden a roller coaster 35. Hit a home run 36. Danced like a fool and not cared who was looking 37. Adopted an accent for an entire day 38. Actually felt happy about your life, even for just a moment 39. Had two hard drives for your computer 40. Visited all 50 states 41. Taken care of someone who was drunk 42. Had amazing friends 43. Danced with a stranger in a foreign country 44. Watched wild whales 45. Stolen a sign 46. Backpacked in Europe 47. Taken a road-trip 48. Gone rock climbing 49. Taken a midnight walk on the beach 50. Gone sky diving 51. Visited Ireland 52. Been heartbroken longer than you were actually in love 53. In a restaurant, sat at a stranger's table and had a meal with them 54. Visited Japan 55. Milked a cow 56. Alphabetized your CDs 57. Pretended to be a superhero 58. Sung karaoke 59. Lounged around in bed all day (welcome to alli's depression) 60. Played touch football 61. Gone snorkeling in the Caribbean 62. Kissed in the rain 63. Played in the mud 64. Played in the rain 65. Gone to a drive-in theater 66. Visited the Great Wall of China 67. Started a business 68. Fallen in love and not had your heart broken 69. Toured ancient sites 70. Taken a martial arts class 71. Played D&D for more than 6 hours straight 72. Gotten married 73. Been in a movie 74. Crashed a party 75. Gotten divorced 76. Gone without food for 5 days 77. Made cookies from scratch 78. Won first prize in a costume contest 79. Ridden a gondola in Venice 80. Gotten a tattoo 81. Rafted the Snake River 82. Appeared on television as a featured guest 83. Received flowers for no reason 84. Performed on stage 85. Been to Las Vegas 86. Recorded music 87. Eaten shark 88. Kissed on the first date 89. Gone to Thailand 90. Bought a house 91. Been in a combat zone 92. Buried one/both of your parents 93. Been on a cruise ship 94. Spoken more than one language fluently 95. Performed in Rocky Horror 96. Raised children 97. Followed your favorite band/singer on tour 99. Taken an exotic bicycle tour in a foreign country 100. Picked up and moved to another city to just start over 101. Walked the Golden Gate Bridge 102. Sung loudly in the car, and didn't stop when you knew someone was looking 103. Had plastic surgery 104. Survived an accident that you shouldn't have survived 105. Published one or more books 106. Lost 100 pounds 107. Held someone while they were having a flashback 108. Piloted an airplane 109. Touched a stingray 110. Broken someone's heart 111. Helped an animal give birth 112. Won money on a T.V. game show 113. Broken a bone 114. Gone on an African photo safari 115. Had a facial part pierced other than your ears 116. Fired a rifle, shotgun, or pistol 117. Eaten mushrooms that were gathered in the wild 118. Ridden a horse 119. Had major surgery 120. Had a snake as a pet 121. Hiked to the bottom of the Grand Canyon 122. Slept for more than 30 hours over the course of 48 hours 123. Visited more foreign countries than U.S. states 124. Visited all 7 continents 125. Taken a canoe trip that lasted more than 2 days 126. Eaten kangaroo meat 127. Eaten sushi 128. Had your picture in the newspaper 129. Changed someone's mind about something you care deeply about 130. Gone back to school 131. Parasailed 132. Touched a cockroach 133. Eaten fried green tomatoes 134. Read The Iliad - and the Odyssey 135. Selected one "important" author who you missed in school, and read 136. Killed and prepared an animal for eating 137. Skipped all your school reunions (not yet, i plan to) 138. Communicated with someone without sharing a common spoken language 139. Been elected to public office 140. Written your own computer language 141. Thought to yourself that you're living your dream 142. Had to put someone you love into hospice care 143. Built your own PC from parts 144. Sold your own artwork to someone who didn't know you 145. Had a booth at a street fair 146. Dyed your hair 147. Been a DJ 148. Shaved your head 149. Caused a car accident 150. Saved someone's life

posted by all alli. @ 10:50:00 PM [[ 3 comments ]]

- This Christmas - 12.28.2006 Was spent in bed. Headaches, body aches, chills, hot flashes, a high fever and a sore throat. I was out of bed on Monday for a total of about 30 minutes. This year, Christmas just passed me by. Sigh. This morning I was still feeling weak and I was having to lay on the couch about every 5 minutes while getting ready. My Mom leaves for work about 10 minutes before I do. This morning when I went outside I noticed that my car windows had already been scraped off and I was able to just get in my car and go. My Mom is so nice, she probably didn't even think anything of it...but it made me cry. Thanks Mom.

posted by all alli. @ 4:49:00 PM [[ 2 comments ]]

- Christmas Time - 12.22.2006 Nothing to say today. I'm excited to have 4.5 days off for Christmas. I have all my shopping done (Ben was last, he was hard). Here's a picture of the adorable child: Merry Christmas Everyone!

posted by all alli. @ 6:53:00 PM [[ 2 comments ]]